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April 07, 2009



I'm supporting my ancestors down the line. Even if I wasn't acting completely out of self-interest, I still think I'd vote this way.

#1 v #6
Jasper Bridge
Warm smile. Love the hair. I need to learn more about this guy.

#2 v #5
William Tichenor
He gives off an arrogant vibe. That's what it takes to win a beard contest. You have to believe it.

I wish I could compete in this showdown, but the Finns were really more mustache folk.

My vote is for 'Wig-Diesel on top. Just look at that volume! In a word, luxurious.

And down low I like Captain Tichenor. Not only will I support a sea captain 9 times out of 10 regardless of the situation, but he has the look. His eyes seem to just be searching the horizon for bearded men to take down a notch, while Higgins looks as though he just sighted Tichenor's ship bearing down on him with all sails set, and is wishing he hadn't drank that second cup of potsum!


I am taking Ludwig from Prussia. You may not be aware, but having a beard in Prussia was unheard of in Ludwig's time. Facial hair was seen as a direct insult to the government. Ludwig risk a forced shaving with a dull razor every time he left his apartment!!! That is the kind of commitment I need to see! (Note: that stuff about Prussia and facial hair may or may not be true. I don't really know much about Prussia).

In the second match I am taking Higgins. Those eyes won't let me vote any other way.

This is easy.
#1 v #6
I'm voting for Jasper Bridge. You can tell he was a good man even though I know nothing about him.
#2 v #5
I gotta go with Ol' Cappie Tichenor. Not the greatest guy but he had damn fine facial hair.

Riediesel and Tichenor (for the win!).

--> 1 v. 6

It pains me to vote against Jasper Bridge, but Riediesel is truly the complete package. I am sorry, Mr. Bridge. Vote: Diesel.

--> 2 v. 5

Tichenor. Purely on beard quality.

No upsets, sorry.

I've gotta go with the diesel and Tichenor as well. The original entrants are too strong.

Reidesel and Tichenor all the way!

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