A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends

My Thighs Will Be Your Helmet

 

 

My friend Jake and I were recently heading back to San Francisco from a party in Oakland. Jake was traveling with a bicycle and I wasn’t and we went back and forth for a long time trying to figure out how the 12-block trip to the train station was going to work. Was there a way to share the bike? Perhaps I could I sit on Jake’s shoulders, chicken-fighting-style, while he pedaled? We only had one helmet between us, “but don’t worry”, I said, “My thighs will be your helmet.” It made a lot of sense, but we were tired and couldn’t figure out how to make it work. We ended up walking the entire way.

In the days following, we couldn’t stop thinking about our failure. We knew there must be a way for two friends to safely share a bike. The following series of sketches explore solutions to this problem.

In the first set, Jake provides a classic template for riding on your friend’s shoulders. The top rider keeps the hands up as a sign of success.

You’ll notice that no one gets hurt in a crash because the top rider has a helmet and the bottom rider has thighs protecting their head. 

 

Very nice!

 

In the next set of sketches, I expand on Jake’s template by adding some different styles of handgrips and footholds.

 

 

Where is the bike?  There is no bike.

 Fantasy!

 

Next, my sister Anna trashes convention and provides a number of alternative ways to safely sit atop someone’s shoulders.

I doubt you'll need to pray. This is safe. 

 

Finally, our friend Peter provides two vivid, real-life examples.

We’re so close to figuring this out! If anyone out there has other ideas, please send in your sketches. Who knows where this is going? We might set up a My Thighs Will Be Your Helmet shop on Etsy and sell t-shirts and handbags.

UPDATE: A few people have mentioned the phrase “my thighs will be your helmet” has sexual undertones. Seriously? I don’t know how I could be any more explicit that this is about friends sharing a bike in a safe manner. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Hey, Everybody, I'm Back: 33 Phoenix Drawings

33 drawings, ink on paper, digital color, 2010

A friend, Cielo L, approached me recently and asked for help designing a phoenix logo for a website she's creating. I told her that most of my drawings look like low-budget children's cartoons, but I'd be happy to give it a shot. I started by making a few rough sketches, then I drew a few more, and then I got really into the concept of the phoenix, and ended up sketching phoenixes for days and days.

There are numerous versions of the phoenix myth throughout the world. The basic story involves a bird that catches fire, burns down into a pile of ash, and then is reborn as a new magical bird that lives for hundreds of years until it catches fire again and the cycle repeats. I was so busy drawing that I didn't have time to do any research on actual phoenixes. All of these sketches are based on my pre-existing knowledge. 

Here are my thirty-three best drawings. Even if you're the kind of person who hates phoenixes, I'm sure you'll find at least one of these that you like. 

 

 

 

UPDATE: So many phoenixes! I'm going to take all these drawings to Kinkos and make a zine called The Phoenix Tribune. It'll consist entirely of drawings, photos, essays, and poems about phoenixes. I'm going to leave stacks of it at coffee shops all over town. I'll keep you posted. 

UPDATE 2: Cielo isn't sure if these are going to work for her site. (What?) Apparently there are other artists in the running and she's going for a very specific type of phoenix. (But I thought I drew all the types!) Either way, I'm glad I did this. By drawing forty-plus phoenixes in two weeks, I've grown far more comfortable with the concept of burning things down to nothing and starting over again.

Make Your Own Low-Rent Handimals

Handimals, iPhone photos, digital paint, 250 x 350 pixels, 2009

A few weeks ago, during a quiet moment at work, I took a photo of my hand, added google-eyes, and sent it to my sister. My sister responded with her own modified hand photo, and ever since, we've been challenging each other to see who could come up with the best hand animals, or "handimals". 

Here is the entire collection. (Note: The man hands are mine and the lady hands are my sister's.)

   

   

    

   

    

   

After putting this collection together and naming it "The Handimals", I did an internet search and was disappointed to learn that there is a guy named Guido Daniele who has cornered the market on "handimals" with a bunch of fancy-ass, Las Vegas sideshow-style, painted hand animals. Apparently this guy has done ads for AT&T and is raking in the hand animal cash. Mr. Daniele needs to realize that he can't lord over this art form. Handimals are for all people and I am standing up to reclaim the name!

With that in mind, I encourage everyone to make their own handimals and send them to aquietmoment@gmail.com. I'll add your handimals to the collection as soon as I receive them and, little by little, we will build an army of handimals that will shock the world. 

Making a handimal couldn't be easier. Here's how you do it:

1. Move your hand around until you see the faint resemblance of an animal or an animal's face.
2. Take a digital photo of your hand while you can still see the animal (Note: If you lose the animal, return to step #1).
3. Import the hand photo into a digital art program like Photoshop, MS Paint, or any iPhone art app.
4. Add google-eyes and animal features such as horns, hair, or teeth (Hint: Don't add so many features that you completely obscure the hand!).
5. Attach the finished handimal file to an e-mail and send it to all of your friends with the subject line: "See, I told you my hand looked like a [insert animal name]!".
6. [Optional] Make a t-shirt featuring your handimal and sell it on the internet:

 

UPDATE: Seth L stepped up to bat and hit a home run with a vomiting handimal: 

 

Five Animals With Fish Coats

Five doodles, ink on paper, 8 x 8 inches, 2009

Goose

Snake

Bear

Frog

Horse

A month ago I drew the above goose engulfed in a school of fish. In the last few days, I returned to the drawing and expanded the concept to include a variety of other animals. It's a little ambiguous, but the fish aren't eating the animals like piranhas, but rather following them around in an amiable, symbiotic relationship. 

You might be thinking that these drawings are a commentary on body image, with the school of fish representing the media-fueled herd mentality that denigrates non-"normal" appearance. That's a reasonable guess, I suppose, but it's not correct. The actual message is: Teamwork works.

Fifteen Taxidermied Musical Acts

Collection, found photographs, Fifteen 160 x160 pixel squares, 2009

"We were dead, but we started a band!"

My posts about the Frog Band piqued my interest in the subculture of taxidermied animals performing in bands. A thorough search of the internet turned up this collection of fifteen musical acts. Finding these performers was no easy task. The internet is filled with fake animals in bands and anthropomorphic taxidermy, but it's much harder than you think to find a deceased animal handling a musical instrument or singing. I also had to make some tough calls and exclude animals that looked too alive.

These musical groups are part of a rich history. The art of anthropomorphic taxidermy has thrived since the Victorian era. You can read all about it on the exhaustively researched website Taxidermy4Cash.com. [Editor's note: This is also a fantastic resource for making some good money during the recession. Get your hands on some antique taxidermy and you're set.]

One Hundred Ronald McDonalds

Collection, found photographs, One hundred 120x120 pixel squares, 2009 

The one hundred Ronald McDonalds that make up this collection were selected from publicly available images on the internet. Each of these images shows a professional Ronald McDonald, past or present, working somewhere in the world. 

I was inspired to put this collection together after viewing a photograph of a friend with Ronald McDonald at a charity event. It struck me that multiple, authentic Ronald McDonalds must exist at the same time, like a secret society. This collection attempts to show the diversity that exists within this sub-category of the professional clown world. Some of these Ronalds are old, some are young, and some might actually be ladies! These photos, taken together, also highlight the disturbing qualities inherent in every clown. Think of this collection as fragments of memory in the mind of a child. Taking your kid to McDonald's may cause serious, long-term psychological damage. 

Click here to view a full size image of the entire collection.

UPDATE: Who are your five favorite Ronalds? Post your responses in the comments.