A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends: Vladimir Putin Fantasy Art and Fan Fiction

On August 5th, the Times of London published a story and series of photos of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on holiday in the wilds of Siberia. In case you missed it, the photos featured a muscle-bound, shirtless Putin riding a horse, feeding a horse, and swimming in a lake. Putin's former-KGB persona and dictator tendencies fit nicely with these shots of him looking like the Beastmaster.

These images inspired my friend Seth H to create his own work of fantasy art. In his drawing, Vladimir Putin tames a fire-breathing horse while the United States is depicted as a skinny cat scurrying around at his feet. I'm guessing the flower represents democracy and the thunderstorm represents totalitarianism.

Seth's drawing inspired the creation of my own Vladimir Putin fan fiction, presented here in three acts with original illustrations.

VLADIMIR PUTIN IN THE LAND OF DRAGONS

ACT I

The tale begins with the castle under siege by a ferocious winged dragon. Vladimir Putin is the king of all the land, but he is also the only warrior mighty enough to defeat the airborne menace.

In this picture, Putin is preparing to head into battle with a long sword made of the finest Spanish steel, a clever elf, and a trusty steed. He has just traded 30 bits of gold for a bag of Magic Horse Feed that will give his stallion ten times more endurance and five times more courage than a regular horse.

After making preparations, Putin rides into battle and slays the dragon by jumping his horse off a cliff, landing on the dragon's back in mid-air, and chopping the dragon's wings off. As the dragon plummets to its death, Putin and the horse use the dragon's detached wings to safely hang-glide back to the ground.

ACT II

Three months later and the castle is again under siege, but this time the threat comes from the water rather than the air. A family of vicious sea serpents have taken up residence in the castle's moat and they have been eating the local peasants who kneel by the water to wash their filthy rags. After witnessing enough carnage, Putin decides to take matters into his own hands. In the darkest hour of the night he creeps out of the castle, strips naked, and crawls into the reeds at the edge of the moat to wait... and watch...

In this picture, as daylight breaks, an enraged Putin shoots out of the water, taking the largest serpent by surprise with a fatal Judo chop to the neck. After killing the monster snake, Putin dives down to the bottom of the moat and chops up the smaller serpents with his sword!

ACT III

One week later, a messenger elf brings word to the castle that another winged dragon has been spotted across the Golden Fields, near the Forest Cliffs. Putin is so mad at the news that he crushes a goblet in his bare hands. Wasting little time, he jumps upon his majestic steed and rides for two days straight until he finds the dragon's lair.

In this picture, the dragon wakes to the rumbling of the galloping horse. The evil lizard-beast charges at the brave, muscled warrior, but Putin is unfazed. He pulls his horse back to safety and plays a tune on a magical flute that summons a falcon to swoop down and gouge at the dragon's eyes. While the falcon is attacking the dragon, Putin plays another tune that causes lightning bolts to shoot out of the sky right at the dragon's head. The repetition of lightning strikes cause the dragon to catch fire and then explode!

After ridding the land of dragons, King Putin rides on wings of glory back to his people. The winds of peace sweep across the land!

UPDATE: If you would like to add to this epic story or contribute your own Vladimir Putin fantasy art, please send it to aquietmoment@gmail.com

UPDATE II: Giovanni GF created an additional illustration for Act III. After the lightning strikes caused the dragon to explode, the resulting fire set the entire forest ablaze. A triumphant Putin walked away from the carnage unscathed: