A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends

Thank You, Presidents, For Being Our Leaders

For the latest installment of the collaborative Buddy System series, I created a patriotic template and asked my friends to draw their favorite president for Presidents Day. I received eleven incredibly diverse responses. Here they are in full glory:

The first submission is from Morit G, who found inspiration in Grover Cleveland's working-class taste buds. Cleveland thought the fancy food they served at the White House was gross. 

Fun fact: At the age of 49, Cleveland married an opportunistic 21-year old, marking the only marriage of a sitting US President in history. 

 

The next submission is my own. I drew the only five presidents in American history to sport beards. From upper left going clockwise, you have Benjamin Harrison (perhaps the longest beard); James Garfield (scraggliest); Rutherford B. Hayes (wispiest); Abraham Lincoln (neck beard); and Ulysses S. Grant (shortest). The era of bearded presidents started with Lincoln in 1861 and ended with Benjamin Harrison in 1893. Sadly, America has never had a bearded president since. (Although, Al Gore came close.)

The next submission comes from world-renowned blogger, "14", creator of Gallery of the Absurd and Resplendent Chaos. For this assignment, 14 reworked a sketch that was inspired by an article she read that included a claim by former president George W. Bush that he cried in the White House on a daily basis.

 

Another Bush-inspired piece came from Angela B and her son Magnus who worked together on a Curious George coloring page. The purple and yellow squiggly lines represent the challenges faced by Bush during his eight years in office.

Fun Fact: All of America's current economic troubles are the result of policies put in place by Bill Clinton and Barney Frank, not Bush.

 

Jake C, a distant relative of President Calvin Coolidge, sent in a portrait of Barack Obama that he created on his iPhone.

Fun Fact: President Barack Obama is America's first president of Kenyan descent.

 

Seth L drew an ink portrait of Don Duff, President of the Northwest Allen County School Board. 

Fun Fact: Before becoming school board president, Don Duff was also the president of a life insurance company and an international insurance marketing company.  

 

Julia W drew a unique portrait that morphs together Teddy Roosevelt and Franklin Roosevelt. 

Fun Fact: Teddy Roosevelt came up with the idea for the Teddy Bear after he had visions of tiny bears in a polio-induced fever dream.

 

David S, a first time contributor, sent in a portrait of a president he would like to see. He explains: 

Dreams are important, they inspire us and drive us onward in the face of a miserable unforgiving world full of casual cruelty. That's why I drew my dream president, former attorney general Janet Reno. Did you know that JRe (as we call her) was the FIRST female federal attorney general ever? That is why I know she would also be a great first lady President! I've drawn her in a tie because she is not concerned with conforming to societies' antiquated gender roles. 

Fun Fact: Janet Reno originally wanted to call Ted Kaczynski the "Mailman of Death", but she was overruled by President Clinton who favored "Unabomber".

 

My sister, Anna U, drew a picture of a bat president.

Fun Fact: Bats sleep while hanging upside down in caves.

 

Nico C was inspired by the Star Wars movies. He thought Boba Fett, the notorious outer space bounty hunter, would make a pretty cool president.

Fun Fact: Harrison Ford, the actor who played Han Solo, is the adopted son of former-President Gerald Ford.

And last, but certainly not least, is Carl W's thought-provoking Super Bowl-inspired take on patriotism and cosmetic surgery. Carl envisions an America ruled by the E*Trade baby.

Fun Fact: Carl is an attorney who works for the Federal government, just like U.S. Presidents.

 

I hope you all learned some new things about presidents this Presidents Day, I know I did. Many thanks to all who participated and God Bless America!

Greetings From Windhoek

Postcard from the past, mixed media, 13 x 10 centimeters, 2010

 

I recently took part in a time-traveling postcard project by Maz Dixon, an Australian artist and past contributor to this site. A few months ago, Maz asked people to suggest an historical place and time from where they would like to receive a postcard. She then created a postcard from that place and sent it in the mail. She describes the project on her blog: 

Firstly, and most obviously, I’m trying to encapsulate a time and place in a single image. In true postcard fashion, this means often resorting to stereotypes or juxtapositions of images that might make sense to a visitor, but perhaps not to a resident. Postcards, as pocket-sized marketing tools, can serve as shorthand for a visitor’s preconceived notions of a place or culture, and I’ve had a bit of fun playing with these kinds of assumptions. Of course for this project I’ve tried to balance that with what the people who have requested these cards might expect. A few people asked for something that has a very particular or personal meaning for them. I’ve tried to incorporate that as possible. Lastly, I think one of the most important aspects of a postcard series is a really ghastly and completely inappropriate font. 

I requested a postcard from Windhoek, Namibia in 1910, during the period of German colonization. I first became curious about Windhoek's strange colonial history during my college-aged travels in southern Africa. I visited Namibia to explore the world's tallest sand dunes, and I remember walking around the mostly-empty streets of Windhoek and being struck by the quaint German architecture, antique shops, and beer halls. Everything felt completely out of place in the middle of the barren desert. 

Without knowing anything about Namibia, and based mainly on my remembered experiences, Maz created and sent me the postcard above. It's remarkable how much the scene resembles Namibia's Kolmanskop ghost town.

You should check out all of the postcards in the series here.

Unforgettable Moments in Sayulita, Mexico

Collage and doodles, 500 x 1000 pixels, color, 2009

I just spent five days in the town of Sayulita on the Pacific coast of Mexico. It was a great trip. On the return flight I doodled in the Alaska Airlines in-flight magazine. Like cave drawings from the prehistoric days, these drawings and the resulting collage tell the complete story of the vacation. 

Here are some hints to help you decode the piece:

• The beach in the upper right is the actual beach where I hung out. 
• The reoccurring snake symbols represent two boa constrictors I found by my lodging.
• The pools represent me being in a pool. 
• The surfboards represent me going surfing.
• I saw Shannen Doherty. 
• Alaska Airlines offers daily nonstop service to Puerto Vallarta from San Francisco.
• All of the hands looked like gremlins. 

UPDATE: My brain hasn't fully returned from vacation and I'm backed up with real work. The blogging may be a little slow while I get acclimated.

Faces in The Mist: Reimagining Sasquatch

Three years ago, after spending months alone in the Oregon wilderness, my friend Kent C visited San Francisco and gave me this book about Sasquatch:

  

The book attempts to set the record straight about unclassified bipedal forest mammals. On the eleventh page of the book there is an exercise where the reader is asked to "finish the art" and give Sasquatch a proper face:

I sent this page to a handful of friends and asked them to send in their interpretations.  

The first response is my own. I made a pencil drawing of an adolescent Sasquatch in the mid-1980s. He's just grown his first mustache, and although it makes him look older, he still feels awkward at the high school dance. 

Laura P, a Montana native, envisioned a transgendered Sasquatch wandering in the wilderness of her home state. 

 

Carl W watches a lot of television. He contrasted the myth of Sasquatch with images of Phil Spector, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Rod "He Hate Me" Smart from the defunct XFL football league. I asked Carl if he was comparing the XFL to Iranian Democracy and he said that was an oversimplified way of looking at it. 

Teresa U followed the numbered instructions to create the Big Foot face, but she broke with convention and added her own spicy rainbow colors. 

Julia W figured it would be a lot easier to use a popular, pre-existing Sasquatch face than go through all the trouble of creating a new one from scratch. 

Do you know who that is? It's Harry from Harry and the Hendersons. (If you like this, here's a similar one that I created!)

 

Seth L used bubble wrap and magazine cut-outs to create a happy, tap-dancing Sasquatch. He made this at work and no one found out!

Peter F created a Shatner-squatch. 

Anna U drew an adult, red-haired Sasquatch with braces and head gear. She was partially inspired by her memories of the Sally Jesse Raphael Show. 

Alright, we're down to the end. No offense to the first eight, but these next two are clearly in a class of their own. 

Eric U (no relation) not only finished the Sasquatch face, but he created an entire Fall fashion catalogue around the creature's distinctive brown tones. For less than $25, you can purchase a hand-tailored polo that looks just like Big Foot's skin and fur. You can wear the walnut-brain to work and pull on the feces for a trip to the driving range. These colors are right for any occasion!  

Eric is a graphic designer and painter living in San Francisco. This is his first submission to A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends. 

And finally, Jake C, the professional cartographer, came through big-time with an incredible transit map.

To fully appreciate the map, you need to click on the image and view the full-size version. You'll find that it's surprisingly easy to travel from Sinussia to Chinwick. Jake made a few iterations to the map over the last two weeks. His latest version added a much-needed express line linking the Commerce District to the Quarry. Unless you're commuting to Owlwood, you don't need a car in Squatchia. 

Wow. So many amazing interpretations of Sasquatch's face! I'm still accepting submissions. If you're inspired, send your finished Sasquatch faces to [email protected]. 

UPDATE August 2009: I received two late submissions.

17 Tips for Thriving in a Recession: Get Rich or Die Trying

Self-help tips, wealth generation strategies, photo collage, 2009 

These are tough times in America. We're dealing with record unemployment, the stock market has tanked, and banks aren't lending any money. Many of us have experienced the loss of unemployment and almost all of us have lost a portion of our savings. In order to help my fellow man during these trying times, I developed some sure-fire ways to get you out of a rut and on the path to riches! My strategies are specially designed for a bad economy, but they'll still work once the economy improves. If you follow my 17 Tips for Thriving in a Recession, you'll probably find that you're making more money today than you were when the economy was strong! 

You've undoubtedly heard about other self-help strategies that promise to make you rich. Well, let me tell you, none of them work. What makes the "17 Tips for Thriving in a Recession" so special is that these tips are designed to play offense and defense, just like in sports. The offensive tips will equip you with simple, aggressive strategies to make money, and lots of it. The defensive strategies will help you save the money that you currently have. Make money and save money. Now that's what I call a winning combo!

[Special Note: If you are a book publisher interested in helping me get these tips out to a wider audience, please contact me at [email protected]. Please write, "I WANT TO GIVE YOU A BOOK DEAL" in the subject line of your e-mail.]

17 Tips for Thriving in a Recession

Tip #1: If you start your own pyramid scheme, you are guaranteed to be at the top of the pyramid!

Tip #2: Avoid excercise and physical exertion as much as possible. 

Note: Excercise = Increased Metabolism = More Food = Spending More MONEY!

Tip #3: Cash4Gold is a fantastic resource. Gold is everywhere and now you can turn it into cash. Start with the easily accessible gold; you can get it from book bindings, teeth, Goldschläger, and relatives.

Tip #4: Reuse old t-shirts and towels as cleaning rags and make your own soap out of lard.

Note: This one is green-friendly.

Tip #5: Anyone can make herbal male enhancement pills. Put caffeine and salt in a capsule and start selling!

Note: As long as the pills are herbal, this is completely legal. However, you may find that your sales improve dramatically if you throw in a pinch of "illegal" ingredients like methamphetamines. 

Tip #6: The exchange rate for cans and bottles in Michigan is $0.10, more than double the $0.05 you get in most states. Get a truck and take your empties there!

Tip #7: Write economic self-help tips on the internet, sell the rights to a publisher, and start making big-time money!

Tip #8: If you make counterfeit money, you should only make ones and fives. The Feds are only after the big bills.

Note: Have you ever seen a cashier hold a $5 bill up to the light to see a watermark? Exactly, they only do that with big bills! 

Tip #9: Pay your landlord whatever rent you feel like. He/she won't evict you right away and if you make strange payments, like $832.14, they might not remember exactly how much you owe them!

Tip #10: If you see an empty parking spot on the street, wait and help the next car get into the space. You might get a tip for your services!

Note: Some people recommend that you key the car if you don't receive a tip. This is foolish and doesn't result in any more money for you. The trick is to look threatening while being polite.

 

Tip #11: Now is not a bad time to be in prison. You can't beat the free room and board and you'll have a chance to get out, debt-free, once the markets recover!

Tip #12: Related to Tip #11, nonviolent crimes like pyramid schemes and counterfeiting yield long sentences in minimum security prisons. Trust me, you DO NOT want to end up in a maximum security prison!

Tip #13: This one isn't obvious, but it's worth mentioning. Write out your hopes and dreams on a cocktail napkin and put it under your pillow before you sleep.

Note: For best results, do this every night. 

Tip #14: If you are a guy or a gal with long hair, you should cut it off and sell it to a doll factory for big-time cash!

Tip #15: Live by the 'Five H's': Hygiene (obvious), Hyperbole (exaggerate everything), Handshake (very firm), Hard Work (duh, obvious), and Harassment (don't do it). 

Tip #16: Hide a dead mouse in your salad at TGI Friday's or Chili's. If you don't get caught, you'll rake in a huge cash settlement!

Note: Save this tip as a last resort. If for some reason you aren't rich after following the first 15 tips, then go ahead with this one. It's timeless and incredibly effective!

Tip #17: Whatever feels good, do it! 

 

I'm confident these tips will help you come out on the other end of this recession with more money than you know what to do with. Again, if you know any book publishers, please let them know about the "17 Tips For Thriving in a Recession". 

Also, now that I've given you these nuggets of wisdom, I have a small favor to ask. If these tips help you become wealthy (and I know they will), I'd really appreciate it if you could kick a little of that cash back at me. I think a 10% cut is fair, but I'm a realist, and I know that I might need to accept less than that. Do the right thing and send money to A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends. 

 

UPDATE: May 12, 2009. Apparently a San Francisco couple decided to bypass the first 15 Tips and go straight to Tip 16. Like I said, use caution with this one.

UPDATE 2: May 15, 2009. Here's another follower of the 17 Tips! I can't tell if this Bay Area guy screwed up Tip #8 by counterfeiting large bills, or if he succeeded at Tip #12. It doesn't really matter, he'll come out on top. 

Stuck on a Staircase in a Hall of Mirrors

Photo-collage, photoshop, color, 2009

Nico C and Caitlin T created this collage from a series of still photographs taken in their hallway. It's almost like one of those Magic Eye pictures from the mid-90s. If you relax your gaze until you almost go cross-eyed, a three dimensional wizard will appear. Try it!

Don't be fooled by the camouflage pants. Nico has no affiliation with the military. Also, what's the deal with that plant? I think it needs some water. 

Lizard People

Carl W sends in his Buddy System collaboration:

It's the world as it is versus the world as we'd like it to be.