A Quiet Moment Amongst Friends

Make Your Own Low-Rent Handimals

Handimals, iPhone photos, digital paint, 250 x 350 pixels, 2009

A few weeks ago, during a quiet moment at work, I took a photo of my hand, added google-eyes, and sent it to my sister. My sister responded with her own modified hand photo, and ever since, we've been challenging each other to see who could come up with the best hand animals, or "handimals". 

Here is the entire collection. (Note: The man hands are mine and the lady hands are my sister's.)

   

   

    

   

    

   

After putting this collection together and naming it "The Handimals", I did an internet search and was disappointed to learn that there is a guy named Guido Daniele who has cornered the market on "handimals" with a bunch of fancy-ass, Las Vegas sideshow-style, painted hand animals. Apparently this guy has done ads for AT&T and is raking in the hand animal cash. Mr. Daniele needs to realize that he can't lord over this art form. Handimals are for all people and I am standing up to reclaim the name!

With that in mind, I encourage everyone to make their own handimals and send them to aquietmoment@gmail.com. I'll add your handimals to the collection as soon as I receive them and, little by little, we will build an army of handimals that will shock the world. 

Making a handimal couldn't be easier. Here's how you do it:

1. Move your hand around until you see the faint resemblance of an animal or an animal's face.
2. Take a digital photo of your hand while you can still see the animal (Note: If you lose the animal, return to step #1).
3. Import the hand photo into a digital art program like Photoshop, MS Paint, or any iPhone art app.
4. Add google-eyes and animal features such as horns, hair, or teeth (Hint: Don't add so many features that you completely obscure the hand!).
5. Attach the finished handimal file to an e-mail and send it to all of your friends with the subject line: "See, I told you my hand looked like a [insert animal name]!".
6. [Optional] Make a t-shirt featuring your handimal and sell it on the internet:

 

UPDATE: Seth L stepped up to bat and hit a home run with a vomiting handimal: 

 

The Greatest Hand Turkey Ever Made

8 1/2" x 11", pencil on paper, 2008

I have drawn, without a doubt, the greatest hand turkey in the history of the world. If anyone can find another hand turkey that comes even close to the realism and beauty of this one, I will send you a $5 Starbucks gift card.

Just as the Indians shared their popcorn and vegetables with the Pilgrims, and just as the Pilgrims shared their guns and dark clothing with the Indians, I would like to share this hand turkey with all the people of the world. Please take this image and use it any way you wish. You can print the hand turkey and show it to your loved ones over the holiday weekend, or you can frame it and put in on your wall. You can copy and paste it into your Facebook or set it as the backdrop on your computer. It's just like they said at that first feast at Plymouth Rock, "what's mine is yours and anything goes."

May this Thanksgiving be the greatest ever!